Ethiopian Infiltration: GM Abiye Involved in Year-Long Conspiracy

For weeks now, the Chronicle has been getting tips about possible foul play within one of the front offices of the Wallace St. League of champions. We can now confirm, after a thorough investigation, that there is evidence of collusion, back-door dealing, and sabotage within the ranks of Mr. Blockbuster.

Our investigation began after we were tipped off to an oddity in the Week 6 matchup between Mr. Blockbuster and the Albhino Rhinos. Leading up to Sunday, Mr. Blockbuster mysteriously dropped WR Golden Tate out of his lineup and off his roster onto waivers, heading into what looked like a good matchup. What happened next is key to the investigation: Tate was picked up the next day by Mr. Blockbuster's opponent that week, Albhino Rhinos. The result was a 3.5 point loss for Mr. B, as Golden Tate scored 19 points, more than both Gallup and Breida combined (Tate's potential replacements).

This raised a few eyebrows and concerns throughout the league, and that's when we received an anonymous tip. What the message contained was damning, and the Chronicle has since found evidence to corroborate its accusations.

The message had a subject line of "golden tate" and it read: "abiye was in on it all along...".

The anonymous tip.

Immediately, we began to look into if these claims had any truth to them and what we found may change your view of the parties involved for years to come. Through some deep digging, we were able to discover the existence of a pre-draft closed-door meeting on September 3, 2019. Sources tell the Chronicle the only attendees of the meeting were Born Again Christians Owner Azar, Albhino Rhinos Owner Nanni, and Mr Blockbuster GM Abiye. The Chronicle has recovered a photo taken from that meeting with a dated timestamp. The source says the purpose of this meeting was to sabotage the season of Mr Blockbuster, though we have not been able to confirm what Abiye is planned to get in return for his actions. It has been said they would take whatever opportunity presented itself to give up games, and Tate is the prime example.

Pre-Draft collusion meeting where GM Abiye sold his soul to the highest bidder

The Week 1 blowout of Mr Blockbuster by Azar didn't set off any alarms for us, as Week 1 is always a toss-up for the most part. But it now seems that there may be more to the story. Our investigation shows that at the pre-draft secret meeting, Azar and Abiye made sure Mike Evans would be a top pick for Mr. Blockbuster, given he had a very tough week 1 matchup against the 49ers, when Mr. Blockbuster would be facing Born Again Christians. Azar's squad won the Week 1 matchup and Mike Evans put up a dismal 3 fantasy points.

Text messages covertly recovered from the phone of owner Nanni show and confirm the collusion and sabotage between Azar, Nanni, and Abiye.

One message appeared to show Abiye confirming he would make sure Golden Tate was dropped for the Rhinos to pick up the following day. Some league experts have coined this scandal #TateGate. It seems that Weeks 1 and 6 are the only examples that we have concrete proof of, but our sources tell us there have been other weeks lost due to Abiye's secretive moves as well. After being tipped off to this investigation, Abiye gave owner Santella a good tip in Week 10 on WR Christian Kirk to avoid suspicion and throw the scent off. The next question has to be: What does owner Santella do in the wake of all this explosive information? Will Abiye laugh off the accusations and talk his way out of any discipline? Will Frank fall for Yoni's excuses altogether? Will Frank read this and say "not-uh"? The entire Wallace St League of Champs waits in anticipation as Santella will obviously have to address the scandal publicly. The findings of the investigation will be submitted to the commissioner for review.