Split Decision: 2017 All Over Again

Let's start off by answering the question on everyone's mind: No, Owners Nanni and Azar can not legally split a week 8 matchup. This time, they will have to play it out and accept the result that comes.

We all remember the controversy from 2017. After a 12-1 season, Owner Azar of the team formerly-known-as the Brady Bunch advanced easily to the championship game, where he would meet Nanni and the Albhino Rhinos. What happened next would spark outrage and animosity alike in the WSLOC. Azar and Nanni agreed in a closed-door meeting to forego the Championship game and split the prize winnings. The Rhinos ended up winning this now-meaningless matchup. But this came to the dismay of the majority of the rest of the league, and owners refused to consider Nanni the sole-2017-Champion. The two participants pleaded their case, and in the end, stood with the position, "Fuck you guys." After all, they were the two teams to make it to the end, so the other league owners did not have any justifiable legal courses of action to rebuke the Championship.

Fast-forward 2 years: Nanni and the Rhinos are 5-2 atop the Western Conference, and Azar and the (newly-named) Born Again Christians are reeling. 5 Straight losses after a 2-0 start have put the BAC's in a tremendously tough position, needing a win against a top performing team to stop this current skid. But it's not all over for Azar, if there's one thing that is true about the WSLOC it's that anyone can beat anyone on any day. Does he face a must-win scenario almost every week of the season from here on out? Yes, but if any team owner has the experience to overcome FCA (football caused anxiety) it's Azar. As the league-leader in SSR (Stressful-Situation-Ratio), Owner Azar is no stranger to some nail-biting and room-pacing. Fantasy experts predict Azar will walk an astounding 4.6 miles during this Sunday's games, but will never actually leave the room he's in. Remarkable tactics. Let's see how it plays out for the former Co-Champions this Sunday.