Where on Earth is Mt. Rushmore(s)?

How many times have you been to Mt. Rushmore? Probably about as many times as Rush has replied to the group chat in the past month. But the most elusive and mysterious team owner of the Wallace St League of Champions has won 2 straight and is quietly making his way back up the mountain after an 0-3 start.

Why does he never respond in the group chat? Why does he send ridiculous trade offers to people year after year? Why does his voice sound so much like Derrick Rose? These questions are all a part of a mystery.

But the mystery of the Mt. Rushmores extends well beyond this season. For the past 2 years, owner Rush has finished 8-5 and made the playoffs, with a championship appearance last year. All the while, he has been proposing trades that some owners have gone on record to call, "Absolutely f*cking ridiculous". Is he serious? Is he? Or is it a mind game? Is Rush throwing his opponents off and distracting them from his winning streaks?

We all remember 2018, Rush miraculously chimed in to the group chat after receiving a monstrosity of shit talk for his then 3-5 record, to announce, "Chill, I'm about to go on a run". And he did just that. The Mt Rushmores (or Pablos Sugar Boogers as they were formerly known) won their last 5 games of the season, locking in a first-round bye, and won their semi-final matchup before succumbing to the wounds inflicted on them in the final by Scottish International.

This week, they seek revenge and look for their 3rd straight victory. Sources tell the Chronicle that owner Rush texted his opponent, "best of luck poppa" prior to the matchup. Just another mind game from the evil genius, planning another run.